It’s Just a Dog…
I’ve been thinking about the nature of grief this past month & how folks can sometimes put a little judgement on how we grieve or what we grieve about. Pets…some people can’t imagine a life or household without them, others think pet people are crazy to spend time, money and energy so freely on a dog or a cat. After all, it’s “just” a dog! If you are a pet lover, maybe you can relate to the story I am about to share.
My friend Laura had to put her 14 year old wiener dog to sleep this month. Moondog was one constant in Laura’s and her daughter Carolyne’s life for a good long time. He was there when they moved from California to Oregon, there through medical emergency and divorce. He was there for grade school, middle school, holidays, proms and high school graduation. He was just.always.there.
Moonie was a sweet, wiggly escape artist who never failed to make you feel like he was SO glad to see you when you came through the front door.
Laura had noticed some slowing down with Moondog, but he was 14 after all. That’s like 98 in human years…who wouldn’t be a little slow?
Anyway, in the process of about a week, Moonie went from being a pokey old man to what looked to be a stroke victim. Laura said it both scared her and broke her heart to see him that way. As his behavior and physical abilities continued to worsen, Laura had to ask herself some hard questions. “Is he suffering”, “how do I DO this” “When is enough, enough”? Moonie’s condition got to the point where Laura knew it was time to let him go and with some help from her brother John, got a vet appointment for that afternoon.
Moondog was gently eased out of this world and suffering no more. For Laura, the mourning and second guessing was really just beginning. Laura told me she knew that Moonie wouldn’t “last forever” but that thinking that and actually losing him were two different things. She thought “did I do enough”, “did I do it too soon”, “should I have done something else”?
She also hadn’t anticipated how she’d feel when she walked through the door and he didn’t come out of his little “nest” to greet her, how quiet the house was with him gone or how the smell of his blankies would squeeze her heart and start the tears again.
Moonie was more that “just” a dog. He was a companion, an entertainer, a small shoulder to lean on. He was a good snuggler and an excellent foot warmer. He was spoiled, he loved his girls and they loved him.
As a dog owner and lover I know the day is coming for me to have to make those impossibly hard choices concerning my pugs. I dread it.
But that is the thing about loving a pet. Because we last so much longer, we sometimes have to play God. It’s an uneasy fit for most of us. When we take on the joy of loving a dog, cat, horse or whatever, we also take on the responsibility and certain knowledge of their death and our heartbreak.
Still, isn’t it all worth it? With pets, as with people on a much grander scale, eventual loss is a given if you love. I think for almost all of us NOT loving is NOT an option.
So tonight when you get home, give your spouse an extra smooch, your kids a good squeeze and your pet a little extra treat. You love and are loved…..it’s a beautiful thing! Until next time….take care.
Toni