Tear Soup Cooking Tips
We have a favorite book in the reception area of the funeral home, Tear Soup – A Recipe for Healing After Loss by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen. Over the years, each copy becomes dog eared from all the hands that read it and each year or so we need to purchase a new one. I believe it has helped many people come to terms with the loss of their loved one. We frequently have families ask to continue sitting in the reception area while they finish the book.
The premise is simple and one we can all understand. Grandy has a loss, one that is too big for her to bear. She chooses a big pot for her loss and begins her recipe. With a big pot she will have plenty of room for all the memories, misgivings and feelings she needs to stew in the pot over time. Tear soup is a way for Grandy to sort through all the different types of feelings and memories she will have when she loses someone or something special.
Helpful ingredients to consider from Grandy’s recipe:
- a pot full of tears
- one heart willing to be broken open
- a dash of bitters
- a bunch of good friends
- many handfulls of comfort food
- a lot of patience
- buckets of water to replace the tears
- plenty of exercise
- a variety of helpful reading material
- enough self care
- season with memories
- optional; one good therapist and/or support group
It’s ok to increase the pot size if you miscalculated. Set the temperature for moderate heat. Cooking times will vary depending on the ingredients needed. Strong flavors mellow over time. Stir often. Cook no longer than you need to. Freeze some as a starter for next time.
You can visit http://www.griefwatch.com/tearsoup for ordering information, an easy to print recipe page and a link to the Tear Soup Tips page where you will find tips to assist friends, children and men as they make their own tear soup. *reprinted with permission from Grief Watch, copyright 2006.
Always remember – The only way to take grief out of death is to take love out of life – Shelle